After Jackson revealed Griffin’s despicable motive mentioned in my last post, I met him (Jackson) in the breakroom at 5:15 as promised.
“Is your phone all set?” I asked when Jackson waltzed in all giddy and smiling.
“I think so,” he answered, retrieving his cell from his shirt pocket anyway just to check. “Armed and ready, Captain,” Jackson replied with a sly grin, “Or should I say Mrs. Scorsese?”
I smiled. “No, Mrs. Smith,” I said, slipping my arm through his.
Jackson laughed, encircling my waist with his other arm. We walked out of the breakroom, gazing at each other as if en route to the nearest boudoir. Quite a performance since he’s gay, and I’m happily married with no intention of being unfaithful. But, of course, Griffin and Gordon didn’t know that.
“This is gonna be awesome,” I said softly.
“Ain’t it though, but pardon me, if I’m pretending you’re Taye Diggs for a minute or two,” Jackson mumbled.
“Whatever works for you, baby,” I said with a giggle. “And when you’re done with him, I’ll take a turn,” I said jokingly, which prompted a raucous belt of laughter from Jackson, stifled somewhat by buttoning his lips, didn’t want be guilty of over-acting after all.
However, out on the sales floor, I could feel a dozen eyes on us. But I couldn’t tell how close we were to Griffin’s desk.
“Are they looking?” I asked.
“Yep, 2 blond idiots at 6:00,” Jackson murmured. “And about a third of the sales force is gawking our way as well,” Jackson said as his gaze swept back to mine.
“Oh, if only we had access to the security cameras over here,” I said, giggling like a school girl.
“Well, Act 1 might be dark, but I can’t wait to see Act 2,” Jackson replied in a loud whisper.
“I can’t either,” I answered with my best seductive grin.
To make this moment all the sweeter, I had instructed Jackson to turn on the video camera on his phone before we embarked upon our scandalous stroll down the hallway. While I wouldn’t be able to SEE everything, the conversation that ensued will probably be one of my fondest memories of working at Mega Bank.
I stole a sidelong glance at the 2 Douche Bags (Griffin and Gordon). They were slumped over their desks, their eyes plucked wide open with shock and, perhaps, exasperation by mine and Jackson’s hopefully convincing display of manufactured enrapture.
For the coup d’etat, I batted my eyes at Jackson just seconds before passing Griffin’s desk and in a sultry voice, I said, “See you round 7:00, then.”
“You bet,” Jackson said softly as I sashayed toward the elevator, shaking my ass as if it were on fire–and, theoretically, it was… :)
Seconds later, I heard Griffin say, “Hold up, Jackson, what’s goin’ on?”
I snuck a glance over my shoulder just as Griffin stood up and wedged himself between his desk and Gordon’s, so Jackson couldn’t pass by to his own cubicle cage, not 3 feet away.
A broad, devilish smile broke out on Jackson’s face, which I’m sure the miscreants believed was from basking in the glow of our lust.
While I didn’t “see” all of their conversation, I HEARD all of it…and Jackson was kind enough to paint quite a vivid picture later that evening over the phone.
“So, what’s the story with you and Mrs. Smith?” Gordon snapped.
Jackson leaned down and quietly replied, “Well, she won’t be Mrs. Smith much longer.”
“Yeah?” Griffin asked.
“She left her husband a month ago.”
“Really?” Griffin asked. “Then, why was she such a bitch when I tried to talk to her?”
“Maybe, because you’re an asshole,” Jackson quipped, still grinning.
Gordon laughed. Griffin scowled.
At which point, I was standing at the elevator sending Jackson a text.
When Jackson’s phone made that tell-tale DING notifying him of my communique, he took his phone out of his pocket and held it up. While reading my text, he was also simultaneously recording Griffin and Gordon on video, so I got to witness the rest of our machination unfold.
Griffin frowned at Gordon – when suddenly, Jackson erupted into laughter because I hadn’t mentioned the particular verbiage I’d planned to send him.
“Man, she is a bad girl,” Jackson said.
“Who, Mrs. Smith, aka Kennedy?” Griffin demanded sarcastically. “What’d she say?”
“Not much, just how much…uh…” he replied, his voice trailing off for a second. “How she can’t wait to cover me in peanut butter and lap me up without a spoon,” Jackson said, laughing.
“Seriously? The uptight woman with dark hair who just left?” Griffin sputtered. “Said THAT to you?”
“The one and only,” Jackson replied, grinning at the sight of the two confused dimwits, whose eyes were all aglow imagining all sorts of sexual weirdness between me and the gay man.
“Bullshit,” Gordon barked.
Jackson smiled. “Whatever. See you two dickheads later.”
A couple cords of laughter rippled in the background, but Griffin and Gordon were both grimacing.
“Prove it,” Griffin said in a contemptuous tone.
“You didn’t hear her say she was looking forward to seeing me?”
“So what? You could be going to Bible study for all I know.”
“Oh, it’ll be biblical all right,” Jackson said with a chuckle.
Gordon laughed, but Griffin just glared at my imaginary beau.
“Okay. Let me see your phone,” Griffin insisted.
“No, that’s private. Besides, I’ve got work to do.” Jackson said, slipping his phone back into his pocket…but I could still hear every somewhat muffled word.
Griffin moved closer to Jackson and growled in a low voice, “Oh, right, because there’s nothing on your phone but photos of you whackin’ off.”
Jackson and Gordon both cracked up at that ridiculous notion. “Why the fuck would I have photos of THAT on my phone when I’ve got photos of…” Jackson began. “Never mind,” Jackson said as he brushed past Gordon toward his desk again while clicking over to the photo gallery on his phone. Meanwhile, the video camera was still recording every morsel of conversation.
“I don’t think so. You’re not getting off that easily,” Griffin said, grabbing Jackson’s arm.
Jackson spun around, beaming, “Well, apparently, I do, according to you…”
Gordon tried to choke back his laughter, but wasn’t very successful.
“Yet, I’m the asshole,” Griffin said sourly…his first intelligent comment… :)
“Fine,” Jackson said with a sigh as if exhausted by their taunts, “Check this out,” he continued, thrusting his phone in Griffin’s face.
“Oh, my God, she’s…”
“I think the word you’re looking for is beautiful, dumb ass,” Jackson said.
Awwww…the gay man thinks I’m pretty, must be doing something right, LOL.
Griffin and Gordon were staring at a photo of me lying on a pink satin bedspread in a black negligee, most of my double D’s tumbling forward, almost completely exposed, a photo from when I was still modeling 3, 4 years ago.
“Okay, dude,” Gordon said. “You gotta fess up. How’d you score a woman like that?”
“I was nice to her,” Jackson said.
At that point, Jackson told me that the look on Dumb and Dumber’s faces was priceless, a joint moment of epiphany revealing that, perhaps, chicanery and stupid attempts at humor were not the best way to bed a woman. And apparently, Griffin’s asinine question about my blouse was his convoluted attempt at humor.
For fuck’s sake, really?
The next day Gordon or Griffin’s team went on a company retreat, and I never saw them again because my assignment at Mega ended (due to lack of work) while they were gone. So, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to those who brought me so many BELLY laughs at their expense.
But I dare say, I’ll survive.
Over and out from CASA DE CRAZY…
~TenaciousBitch and her band of truth-spouting hippies
TB/ks
